A Funny Example of Things That Are Misunderstood
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Spit 'em out
I believed that if I ate a watermelon seed, a watermelon would grow in my tummy. —Michelle Bradbury
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Dorsum in the day
I believed that people in the past lived in a black and white world because quondam pictures were only blackness and white. I fifty-fifty asked my mom how she had a favorite color when she was little, since the only colors to choose from were black and white. —Marianne Baring. Too read these truthful stories that bear witness just how hilarious parenting is.
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In stitches
I believed that if I played with my omphalus I would pop open. I thought that is where we were sewn together. —Cherith Kintigh
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Asparagus rex
I believed that asparagus was made from dinosaurs. The light-green color of the dinosaur I often saw in a Telly commercial and the colour of my mom's asparagus goulash all jumbled together. —LaVerne Greenbacks
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Teaching for a living
I believed that all teachers lived at school. I thought they slept in the classrooms and never went to the bathroom, EVER! —Nadia Cavagliere. Check out more hilarious classroom stories guaranteed to make you laugh.
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Monster bus
I believed that school buses ate the little kids that got on them every morning. I always saw them get picked upwardly, only was never at that place when they got dropped off. —Patricia Greig King
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The globe keeps spinning
I believed that the clouds floating away were really the earth rotating. —Uma Devanalli.
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The stereo people
I believed that when my Dad played the stereo the people singing lived inside of it. I was ever curious where they slept, went to the bathroom, and ate. I wanted to pry the speaker open up to look inside, but I knew that would get me in a lot of trouble. —Melissa Yingst
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Smile!
I believed that lightning came from the flash of a huge camera in the sky. And so, every fourth dimension I saw lighting I would smile really large. —Jiem Jayno.
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Dairy funny
I believed that white cows made white milk and brown cows made chocolate milk. —Stacy Viskocil Stroud
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You're kitten!
I believed that all dogs were males and all cats were females. I take no idea where I got that idea. —Mercy Langille
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No ice foam for you
I believed that if the water ice cream truck was playing music, it meant that it was out of water ice cream. Thanks, Mom. —Rebecca Ahlgrim. This definitely counts as one of the funniest lies parents tell their kids.
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Reach for the stars
I believed that if I went too high on the swing, I would poke a hole in the sky with my anxiety. —Sylvia Aldrich
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Yum!
I believed that the moon was made of cheese. —Roger Illies
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Good for your eyes
I believed that if I ate a lot of carrots I would be able to see in the dark. —Saria Hansen. Sadly, this is one of the myths parents tell kids that nosotros can deflate.
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Holier than thou
I believed that nuns did not accept feet and floated when they went around considering they were then sacred and heavenly. —Abegail Maslog
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Swim, infant, swim
I believed that babies did the backstroke in the mothers' stomachs. I doubtable my mom tried to explain amniotic fluid, and I pictured it like a tiny swimming pool. —Kitty Harrison. Read 29 of our favorite funny mom quotes.
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Destroy the evidence
I believed that if I rubbed my fingers incessantly on my daddy's steering bicycle, I could become rid of my fingerprints. This was important, equally I was planning to grow up to be a cattle rustler and horse thief. —Karina Grand. Oishei
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Shrinking house
I believed that the walls in our firm creaked at night because the room was shrinking. That'south what my dad told me when I asked him. I worried every fourth dimension I heard creaking afterwards that. —Claire Lazos. Here are 31 groan-worthy dad jokes that you'll still express joy at.
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Non that natural language!
I believed that the only tongue was the i in my rima oris. And so when my mother was teaching me to tie my shoes and she told me to "pull my tongue out," I started crying. —Lyn Long
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Dream big
I believed the people who told me I could "be anything I wanted," so I thought I could grow up and be a cat. —Becky Miller McGown
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Light it up
I believed that if y'all flicked the lights on and off, you could start a fire. —Melissa Alongi Ferdinandsen
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Magic beans
I believed that if I ate peas or beans, they would grow into copse in my stomach and through my rima oris. Side effects of reading Jack and the Beanstalk. —Shivika Raina
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Peter Curly-tail?
I believed that instead of an Easter bunny, at that place was an Easter squealer. I went to school and told my course. I will never forgive my dad for telling me that. —Stacy George-Keser. Cheque out these incorrect—but hilarious—test answers from existent kids.
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A web of lies
I believed that the spider webs in the basement were "oestrus" webs. when I was 25, my now ex-wife said of our new place, "The basement has a lot of spider webs." I said, "Perhaps they are heat webs," but equally I said information technology, it occurred to me that my whole life was a lie. —Jim Moore
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Sleep it off
I believed that my parents drugged us on Christmas Eve. I could stay up any other night, but they gave usa hot chocolate after midnight Mass every year, and I couldn't stay awake. So I assumed they put sleeping medicine in it. —Becky Fletcher
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It sure looks existent!
I believed that Barbie'southward hair grew only like ours. So I pretended to be a hairdresser and cutting my Barbie doll'south hair. —Paula Pestaño
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Begetter knows all-time
I believed that be a father you had to exist really smart, because my father was brilliant and I thought all other fathers must be as well. —Julie Leonard
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Maybe he's born with it
I believed that football game players have their massive shoulders from birth on. —Manuela Reinholz. Babies are hilarious as well, as these 40 funny baby photos bear witness.
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Robot in disguise
I believed that I was a robot, after noticing the sparks of static electricity from my pj's one night. I thought I was shorting out. I didn't tell anyone for fright of being thought of as a human being imposter. —Traci Washer
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Flat Stanley
I believed that if I put my finger in my belly button, I would become every bit apartment as a pancake. I was in ninth grade when I finally got the nerve to attempt it. —Cindy Bair Yearsin
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Bugging out
I believed that the little black seeds in strawberries were ant eggs, and if I ate one directly from the vine (we grew our own), the ants would grow inside me. —Lori Houston. Don't miss these family life cartoons that can brand yours seem less crazy.
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Go into the light
I believed that if I prayed into the light axle of a flashlight while looking at the stars, my prayers would attain God and people in heaven faster. —Nuna Katchatag
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Mission to Mars
I believed that my uncle Fred went to the planet Mars for work every day. I pictured a spaceship and everything. Then I found out that at that place is a Mars, Pennsylvania. —Barbara Martin Taylor
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If simply
I believed that the nuclear constitute well-nigh where we grew up was a cloud car. It had a constant breaker of smoke above it, and that'south what my mother told me. I thought it was awesome. —Billie Turner. For more than laughs, bank check out these curt jokes anyone tin can think.
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Hold onto those Life Savers!
I believed that Life Savers candy kept you live. My great-grandma gave me a tiny roll of them and told me if y'all lose your Life Savers, you die. When she died that summer, I told everyone it was because she lost her Life Savers. —Anita Mullins
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Canis familiaris consume dog
I believed that the reason dogs odour other dogs' butts was because years ago there was a big dogfight and they all lost their respective butts. According to my dad, they were always smelling butts in the hope that they would exist able to observe their own. —Paula Johnston
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The role of a lifetime
I believed that actors dying in movies meant they died in existent life besides. I imagined they shot all their other movies earlier dying finally in their last one. —Zarrin Haider
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Principal of the trains
I believed that I endemic all the cabooses in the world, every bit evidenced by the fact that caboose engineers always waved to me when I waved to them. Later, when I told my kindergarten teacher that I owned all the cabooses in the earth, she told me that simply was not true. —Paula Herrick Shofkom. You won't desire to miss these cute and innocent mistakes that kids take made.
Originally Published: September 25, 2019
Source: https://www.rd.com/list/ridiculous-beliefs-as-children/
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